Online Journal Diary Blog – Here Goes
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Here goes…

I am not normally someone who divulges a lot about my personal life outside of close friends and family. It is something that I see somewhat as privileges information. It’s hard for me to trust people I don’t know with personal facts about my life.

Maybe it’s because I have been huts before by others who took advantage of my information; whether they knew they did or not. Maybe I’m not that trusting of a person. It really is hard to say.

I have been in a slump lately. With a not-so-good prognosis from my toddler’s cardiologist about his heart to potential changes in my body (yay possible perimenopause!) the past two months have been very rough.

With my son, it’s a lot of hurry up and wait to see what his body will do. Watch for any negative signs and get help ASAP if you see them. So, I watch him and tell anyone who is even remotely responsible and around him to watch for. But I don’t hover; well, I try not to. How is one supposed to watch for these signs without becoming a “helicopter parent”?

I tell you; it is a fine like that we walk to keep our kids healthy while still giving them a childhood and their freedom. Maybe that’s just my way of parenting? I really don’t know. I just know that it is super taxing on my physical, emotional, and mental self.

His condition isn’t even that severe. Sometimes I think that it would be easier in some ways if it were but then of course it would be so much harder in other ways that would be way worse. So, I try not to look at potentially greener grass in other places, for you never know what dangers are there.

That reminds me of a cool take on that very well-known quote. A new perspective on “The grass is greener on the other side”

“The grass isn’t greener on the other side. The grass is greener where you water it.”

If you want that nice grass, the perfectly trimmed edges and that well-manicured foliage then you have to do the work for it. And what’s wrong with that? Absolutely nothing! But please, don’t stand around complaining that your grass isn’t green when you aren’t willing to put the work in to make it greener.

Rant done.

I really don’t know what I was hoping for from doing this. Who wants to read about my life anyways? My struggles, my setbacks, my triumphs. I can’t even begin to think of an answer for that. Maybe no one. Maybe someone.

Someone who can read this and say, “It’s not just me”. Thinking of that one-person sort of gives me hope and keeps me writing. What if I could make a positive impact on one person’s life? I think that would make it worth it.

Reminded of that movie Julie and Julia, and that was such a good movie. She starts a blog as she goes through all the recipes in the book written by Julia Child. She gains momentum and a following. Could that happen to me? Could I have an impact on so many people’s lives?

One can never know. So, I continue to write, in hopes that my words help someone out there for the better.


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